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08/10/2007: Creative Blasphemy -- An Introduction


Suppose you hear someone on the street exclaim, jocularly, "Sweet Muscular Jesus!" Or "Sweet and Sour Jesus!" Your first thought may be, "Ha! That's hilarious! I must put that in a script!" It's not a bad thought. If you're lucky, you just heard someone's original proclamation and that line in your script will sparkle with I-never-heard-that-before-ness. But more likely, you just heard an early use of a phrase that's just about to go viral and your script will quickly smell of oh-that-one-was-funny-last-monthitivity.

A better first thought is, "Ha! That's hilarious! I wonder what I can make up that has a similar structure, but is mine and mine alone?" Then you can make a list:

Sweet Potato Jesus!
Sweet 'n' Low Jesus!
Sweet-talkin' Jesus!

And then you can branch out into...

Holy Dimpled Moses!
Hail Mary Full of Pie!
Sweet Virgin Records!

Or whatever. That took ten minutes and probably at least one of those hasn't been all over the internet already.

Whenever you hear an original quip, remember that someone had to think it up. Are they really any smarter than you? Instead of helping them spread their glory, work on your own.

Lunch: another heirloom tomato salad. If you haven't tried heirloom tomatoes, you're missing out. As varied and lovely as tropical fish, only made out of tomatoes.