JaneEspenson.com

Eagle-eyed readers will have already noticed that the link to the ABC/Disney Writing Fellowship on this page has been updated. (Thanks to various readers who wrote in to let us know the link had gone stale.)

I was a Disney Fellow myself, and am in the business today because of this program. I cannot recommend it highly enough. It provides instruction, connections, money and lifelong friendships. Check it out, read all the new info. The most important thing, of course, is to note the (postmarked by) July 1 deadline.

Deadlines are wonderful things. By my math we’ve got approximately six weeks to get all of your specs ready to submit. So let’s get started!

First off, it occurs to me that some of you may be under the impression that you need to submit something family-friendly because of the “Disney” name. Not at all. Submit your strongest material, and if it’s a show with sex and swears and smokin’, leave it all in. As always, your highest goal is to sound like the actual show.

And remember, no spec pilots for this application. You have to write a spec for a show “currently being produced.” By the way, I have no idea if they would consider, say, a “Sopranos” as falling into this category or not. The show has had its wrap party, so I’m guessing, to be safe, no “Sopranos.” If there are other shows that seem to be flirting with the edges of the definition, I’d say play it conservatively and give them something that’s clearly inside their rules. You don’t want to be out of the game before it starts.

Six weeks is enough time to get a spec ready to submit, even if you have nothing on the page right now. Pick a show, get those produced scripts and start breakin’ ’em down. Find that definitive structure for an episode of your show and then start brainstorming premises. Really consider what you want the episode to be about. Make it something that strikes right at the emotional core of the main character. You can accomplish all this in the first week, and if you do, it will be a week very well spent.

Go!

Lunch: “Cincinnati Chili” from the Universal Cafeteria. They must’ve put about a half-pound of jalapenos in my serving. Very nice.

ADDENDUM: In addition to there being no bias toward “family friendly” material, you should also note that there’s no bias toward ABC material. Please don’t feel there’s any advantage toward picking an ABC show.

Interesting. I have now received two letters from young straight white male writers who have expressed (joking) frustration at a perceived interest from agents or managers in representing “diversity writers.” Both letters hinted around at the possibility of trying to present oneself as gay in hopes of appearing more desirable (as a client, presumably).

Clearly, this is a terrible idea and I will assume you guys were joking. But let’s look, for a second, at the assumptions behind the joke. One has to assume:

1. Gay writers are in demand. Is it true? I checked with writer and friend-of-the-blog Drew Greenberg for an informed opinion. Drew?

I have yet to be on a writing staff where the show runner said, “You know what this show needs? More gay men. Hire me some of those!” Never heard it. Not once. Even on shows run by gay men. We still live in an era where being gay is considered being an outsider. Even in television.

Plus, I will point out that sexual orientation is not currently one of the criteria that is even credited with making a writer “diverse”. So there’s that.

Then there is a second assumption:

2. White male writers have a hard time getting hired. Is this true?

One of the reasons that agents or managers may be looking for writers with different backgrounds is because there are so many white male writers. That must mean someone is hiring them. Drew?

Here’s the bottom line: I did some math. On the five staffs on which I’ve worked since Buffy, 77% of the writers were white men. 77%. That’s three out of every four people, with an extra, what, arm or something. So if your agents tell you that you’re less desirable as a client because you’re a white man, tell your agents to come hang out on my staffs. I have something to show them.

I can support Drew’s math here. In fact, I’m surprised he gets a number as low as 77%.

This is a hard business to break into. But it’s hard for absolutely everyone. And you can do yourself the biggest possible favor by just worrying about your spec scripts since that’s the part of this you can control. Be great and you will get noticed where it counts — on the page!

Lunch: the chicken Caesar salad at California Chicken Café. It’s got little toasty pieces of pita in it instead of croutons. Delightful!

Rachel in Los Angeles writes asking about finding a writing partner. Well, Rachel, you’re in the right city! I’d suggest attending meetings of a group like Scriptwriters Network, or any of the similar organizations that meet in the city. Or sign up for a screenwriting class through UCLA extension. Talk to people there, make friends, read their work, and I bet you’ll find the right partner.

You’ll also benefit from all the other reasons that people join these groups and take these classes — mentorship, creative criticism, connections, encouragement… and sometimes the chance to enter a competition. If you’re fortunate enough to be in Los Angeles, you’ve got a great opportunity to meet others who are working toward the same goal you are. Take advantage of it for as long as you find it helpful.

By the way, you can do some of this even if you’re not in L.A. Years ago, when I wanted TV writing instruction, I found an inexpensive teacher in the Bay Area who met with small groups of aspiring screenwriters. Just that small weekly contact with others who were trying to do what I was trying to do was very encouraging to me.

Just always keep the goal in mind. You’re not here to be the best in the group, the leader of the group, to define yourself in terms of whatever group or class you choose. You’re here to get a job. So keep your eyes raised up out of the crowd.

Lunch: enchildas from the Universal Studios cafeteria. I didn’t think there would be so much potato in them.

Well, as long as I’ve got my snout in the mailbag, let’s root around and see what else is in there, shall we, gentle readers? Ah… a very good letter from Zach in L.A. who is finding himself frustrated with looking for comedy writing work.

The interesting thing here is that Zach has done everything right — he’s moved to L.A., worked as a gofer in writing rooms; he has several polished specs and other material, has met and impressed established comedy writers… those are all great ingredients. But, as most established comedy writers are themselves out of work right now, he’s finding it hard to get a foothold.

He asks, Should I take four months to write a feature-length? Should I do more “alternative media” stuff? […] Do I bite my cheek and do stand-up?

Well, Zach in L.A., those are all good things to do — the feature in particular would be good to have anyway — but I also have another idea. You mention in your letter that your two specs for existing shows are “The Office” and “American Dad.” Why not supplement those with a “Desperate Housewives,” or, even better, an “Ugly Betty”?

Half-hour comedy is a bit of a hiring wasteland right now. There simply aren’t enough shows to support all the experienced writers, so it’s very difficult for new writers to get in. And while television drama writing isn’t an easy gig to get, it’s substantially easier than comedy. And, in writing a spec for a show like “Betty,” you still get to use your comedy skills. In fact, you get to use them every bit as much. A comically-inclined hour-long spec pilot is also something you could try.

Hang in there, Zach. Luck is opportunity plus preparation plus luck. (I made that up and I think it’s fantastic. Feel free to borrow it.) Keep writing, keep polishing the specs you already have, keep adding new ones, keep making those connections… just keep on doing more of what you’ve been doing. I can’t guarantee that you will get hired, but you’ve got a better shot than all the people who haven’t done what you’ve done.

Lunch: My favorite “Johnny Rockets” burger place is now called “Beverly Hills Diner.” Quite a shock. But they served me a fine Jalapeno Burger and a chocolate coke, so it’s all good.

Eddie in San Mateo writes in with two really good questions. First, he’s wondering why I referred to him as “Erik from San Mateo” when I addressed a previous question of his. Oops. Sorry, Eddie.

His second question has to do with politically incorrect humor:

Does this brand of humor satirize stereotypes and prejudices or promote them? If a joke is funny, does it matter whether it’s offensive or not? Should aspiring writers attempt to replicate this humor in their spec scripts at the risk of stepping into a minefield?

This is a really interesting area. I myself am not a huge fan of comedy that sets out to amuse us by shocking us. The humor, generally, is supposed to come from a jolt of recognition, a sort of “Hey, we’re not supposed to say that, but ain’t it the truth” kind of thing. Personally, I think this is pretty dangerous stuff, since it’s clearly promoting stereotypes or at the very least reinforcing cultural barriers. You might get a laugh, but it’s got a mean edge to it.

Of course, there are other types of politically incorrect humor. On The Office, Michael can say something absolutely appalling, and the purpose of the line is to reflect badly on him. I’ve got no problem with that.

And, of course, there’s the strange forcefield that surrounds offensive jokes made by members of traditionally oppressed groups. This might seem like a simple rule, but it becomes really complex when the character is a member of such a group, but the writer giving voice to that character is not.

I guess the key is in Eddie’s middle question, “If a joke is funny, does it matter whether it’s offensive or not?” It seems to me that if a joke offends me, I’m never going to find it funny. This is the risk you take with material like this — if you misstep, you don’t just have an unamused reader, but a pissed-off one.

If you’re writing a spec for an established show, you can, as always, use the produced episodes as examples. They should give you a good idea where the line is for that particular show. Veronica Mars, for example, draws the line in a very different place than, say, Family Guy, which has no line at all. You generally can’t go wrong doing what the show already does.

But if you’re writing a spec pilot or are otherwise in uncharted territory, I would tread very lightly. And not only for moral reasons, either. I believe that a lot of writers of specs try to use shock value to make their spec stand out. This backfires when others have the same idea. Your ultraspicy (and potentially offensive) chicken wings don’t stand out at the potluck when the neighbors brought the same thing.

Lunch: Indian food with tortillas. See? Cultures can collide in a delicious way.

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