JaneEspenson.com

Hi all! I had the chance to go to a fun and interesting event last night: a party for women televison writers. Since each staff typically only has one or two women writers (although this is changing), it’s not often that we all get a chance to really connect in big groups like this. And the fact that staffing season is just getting underway guaranteed a lively night. We were bombarding each other with questions about pilots we’d read, meetings we’d taken, staff openings we’d heard about, the reputations of various potential bosses… Great stuff. I saw some old friends and met some impressive people I hadn’t had a chance to meet before. Also, there were these mini grilled cheese sandwiches. Fantastic. I had five.

It was fun being in an environment both social and writerly. It reminded me of why I like writing on a staff. So, (awkward transition), this might be a good time to address a question that someone asked me a while back about how the process of writing on a staff differs from writing a spec. Specifically, about the outlining part of the process: how much goes on, and of what kind. I’ve said some of this stuff before, but there’s also new material in here. Check it out.

In theory, there shouldn’t be much difference in this aspect of the job. You start on a whiteboard, or notebook, or index cards, and you get your story in order. You figure out the theme, the basic events, the big turns in the story. The A story, the B story. What the act breaks are, and then what all the scenes are. This is the “break.” It can take, literally, weeks – more time than it takes to write the script. When it’s done, the story is “broken.” The process of the break is one that is almost always executed by the entire staff together, under the direction of the show runner. If you’re writing a spec, this is obviously accomplished by you alone (with input from friends and colleagues) – a harder process, but purer. You get to tell exactly the story you want. You simply have to do it more carefully, since there’s no one there to say, “Gee, we tried telling a story like this once on Nash Bridges, and that third act break never really popped…”

Anyway, now you start creating documents. The first is the famous “beat sheet.” This is, of course, a preliminary form of an outline. It simply tells you the location of each scene and the briefest version of the events in that scene. This is a chance to re-evaluate the breaking of the story. Problems that were invisible during the breaking might become evident here, so changes might have to be made to the story. On an actual staff, this will sometimes involve putting everyone back to work on a rebreak.

The difference between a “beat sheet” and an “outline” is one of degree. Personally, I often find it hard to generate a genuine beat sheet because I think of lines and jokes and details and I write them in there so I won’t forget them. I end up with something in between the two stages. But a real outline is long, many many pages. Mine come out somewhere between 9 and 14 pages for an hour episode. Some shows seem to lend themselves to shorter ones, some to longer ones. Gilmore Girls outlines are incredibly long and detailed, with whole runs of dialogue spelled out.

Writing the outline, of course, gives you another chance to find problems with the breaking of the story. Sometimes you start completely over at this stage. Plus, on a real staff, this is the point at which the studio and the network start having real input. So that can change everything. All the writers — back into the room for a rebreak!

On an actual staff, there is often not enough time to create a full outline. This is because of all that time spent breaking and re-breaking, of course. So, one often has to write from the beat sheet. Honestly, I always kind of like this, because it leaves me a little more wiggle room in the writing to change my idea of how a scene lays out as I write it. With a long outline, you sometimes feel like the actual writing process is reduced to reformatting.

So now you take the outline and write the script. This part can actually be done in a weekend if you have to. But, here’s the kicker: once you turn in the script, there can often be another rebreak! So all of that rebreaking earlier was meaningless! In theory, all of it represented some type of progress, but sometimes that’s simply not the case. I think the best measure of the quality of a staff/show runner is the ability to solve story problems early in the process. Here’s where you, the spec writer, gain your biggest advantage. That time thing again. You can take the time to fix problems in an unrushed way, whereas the staff writers have the looming blade of the production schedule.

(By the way, there’s another interesting thing that happens as production nears. When the production people are scheduling the actual shooting of the scenes, they have to create a short description of each scene, for all the people involved in production to have at hand. This generates a new document called a “one-liner.” It lists the location and the briefest version of the events in the scene. In other words, they recreate the beat sheet, which they have never seen. I find this amusing.)

To sum it all up: I like little grilled cheese sandwiches.

Lunch: A chicken stir-fry thing I made using something I bought in Tobago called “wet green seasoning.” Unique.

I had a delightful afternoon of Scrabble yesterday with my friends Kim and Michelle and Jeff. Little dogs playing at our feet, tiles clicking softly… Fantastic. I’ve known Kim and Michelle since we were all in the Disney Writers’ Fellowship together. It was that kind of bonding experience, and I cannot recommend it highly enough (It’s now the ABC Writing Fellowship). In addition to meeting people who will be your friends for life, you also get good practical writing advice and the thrill of seeing doors open that would have been hard to even approach otherwise.

As part of the fellowship, we television fellows (as opposed to the feature fellows – we were recruited in two camps), wrote a series of comedy spec scripts under the guidance of Disney executives. Comedy scripts only, because Disney was only producing comedies back then. We also were required to attend at least one sitcom taping per week. This began as a treat, and quickly became a chore. Our chaperoning executive actually pulled us out of the audience at Blossom one week because the Joey Lawrence fans were making a high-pitched sound of delight that was causing us physical harm.

There was also a strong recommendation that the execs made to us. They told us to hold our own little mini table reads at home, using the other fellows as actors, so that we could hear our specs. Nothing fancy, just a group of people with scripts on their laps. Having this kind of read is a suggestion you will probably hear from others as well.

I would exercise caution.

Homemade table reads are great if you’re writing a feature or a pilot or a play. If you’ve created the characters, I mean. You can learn a lot about what makes dialogue sound natural. You’ll also realize how very, very, long a chunk of dialogue is when it’s read out loud. You’ll probably end up cutting words out of every line you’ve written.

But even then, there is a downside. If your friends are not actors, they may butcher what you’ve written. And then their awkward line readings are in your head!

And if you’re dealing with a spec script for an existing show, you’ve got even bigger problems. One of your most precious aides in this whole process is your ability to “hear” your actors reading your lines. You want to be able to “hear” Hugh Laurie or Edward James Olmos or Jamie Pressly when you read your script. And the one time that I GUARANTEE that will not happen is when your friend Missy is reading the role of Dr. House.

So be careful. Unless you’ve got Hugh coming over anyway, and he’s able to lend a hand, you might end up doing yourself more harm than good. Many would disagree with me, of course. If you try it and it works for you, then that’s great. But I rely so heavily on my little metaphorical inner “ear,” that I keep far away from anything that will get between it and me. (I also like my literal inner ear. It keeps me from falling down.)

Lunch: chips and dips and wasabi peas eaten while Scrabbling!

Hi all! I was at a bachelorette party this weekend in Vegas! Whoo! Fun! Vegas seems to be THE destination for events of this type. You can count veils in Vegas the way you might count out-of-state license plate anywhere else. Between the brides and the bachelorettes, there’s enough white netting in that town to supply the Japanese fishing industry. Someone in our group actually was counting the veils. I think I heard the number seventeen. We’re heading into spring. June is at our throats again.

Which leads us to today’s question from Tracy Berna, a friend of the blog with her own wonderful, chaotic blog. Check it out at Left Turn at Albuquerque. She asks:

“When the hell is ‘staffing season’? I’m never really sure when it
is or how the whole hiring cycle operates, except you’re supposed to
have a spec ready at some nebulous time during the spring. Is there
more than one time a year when having a spec ready is apropos?”

A great question. The approximate answer is that staffing season is, hmm, sort of mid April to late May, with the job actually commencing on June first. But, of course, this is all subject to various factors, including:

1. Higher level writers are hired before lower ones. So depending on your level of experience, you’re going to have a completely different season than another writer.

2. Mid-season shows sometimes (but not always) start production later than fall shows. They may staff later than other shows. Even months later. If you aren’t staffed for fall, you are “waiting for mid-season.”

3. Some shows (for example, many cable shows) are on a different schedule. A friend of mine was recently staffed on a Showtime show and has been reporting to work for several weeks already!

4. It seems obvious that a new show can’t staff until the network has actually looked at the completed pilot and ordered additional episodes, so the moment of the announcement should mark the beginning of the staffing season. But sometimes a network orders additional scripts (as opposed to episodes), before they officially order the show. Or they otherwise have infused the show runner with enough confidence to go about reading specs and meeting with writers. So the season can start early.

5. Shows that are already established and know they’re continuing, might staff VERY early, holding meetings before the previous year’s staff has even finished their work, so that they show runner will have next year’s staff (if they’re making changes), figured out before their hiatal vacation starts. This also allows them access to high-level writers before the feeding frenzy starts. For the writer, of course, this can present a problem. The writer has to decide whether or not to accept the offer from the continuing show long before they know which pilots will be picked up.

6. Sometimes people get fired. And have to be replaced. You can scoop up an off-season job this way.

So when should your spec be ready? Well, you should always have one ready. And you should feel free to work on each spec as long as you want, making it perfect, so rushing to get something ready by a certain date may not make a lot of sense.

Also, unless you already have an agent, the first thing you’re going to do with that spec is to try to find one. Guess when agents are so swamped that they will often simply refuse to read anymore? Right before staffing season. You’re better off being a little off-schedule, if you ask me.

Write your specs until they’re done. Then they’re done.

A simple question. A long non-answer. Sorry ’bout that.

Lunch: A veggie sandwich from the Quiznos in the Luxor Las Vegas food court. They accidently gave me a side salad without charging me for it, and when I tried to pay for it they wouldn’t let me and seemed a little angry that I was making a big deal out of it, like I was harping on their mistake. The sandwich was very nice. Toasting makes a huge difference. And the avocado spread is key.

Hey there! I was talking with an executive this week who told me about the best spec pilot she had ever read. After you’ve written some specs for existing shows, you may want to write a spec for a show of your invention, so that you can show off your own original voice. Well, this particular spec pilot that she described was called “Depressed Roomies,” and was written by a writer named Charlie Kaufman who has subsequently shown himself to have a VERY original voice.

I was so intruiged by what she told me that I did a little looking, and instantly found the script online. Here. Take a look, just as a treat for yourself. It’s funny, totally original; it MOVES; it has jokes; it has distinct and funny and sympathetic characters. I felt like I was learning about pilot writing just by reading it. I suspect you will too!

Lunch: An avocado and heirloom-tomato on rye sandwich. Summer-y and nice.

Have you noticed the change in the air, that certain feeling that a new season is upon us? That’s right. It’s Pilot Season! Table reads are busting out all over!

A table read is a pre-filming exercise in which the actors sit around a table and read the entire script out loud. Writers and executives listen and use what they have heard to improve the script. When a table read is held before a pilot, it’s usually the first time that the actors have all assembled together, so you’re also looking for how they mesh together as an ensemble.

These events aren’t just called “table reads” out of tradition. There really is a big table at the center of the room. Usually just the actors, director and executive producers are actually seated the table. A wider circle of chairs surrounds the table. Everyone else, including non-exec-prod writers, sit in these chairs. This means that when you become a staff writer, you will spend some time looking directly at the backsides of a cast of actors. This often means you are privileged to an array of thong underpants. Try to stay focused.

Comedies always have table reads. Dramas sometimes do. (Gilmore Girls does. Buffy didn’t.) What I’m going to talk about applies to comedies and the funniest of the dramas. If you’re writing a 24, you don’t have to worry too much about this.

There’s an interesting thing that happens when an episode goes from being an script to being an oral performance: subtler aspects become clear. A joke that seemed hilarious on the page can feel heavy-handed when performed, while a subtler moment that just sort of sat there when read silently, can get a big laugh at the table. This effect gets even more pronounced when the actors get up on their feet on the stage. At Gilmore Girls and at Ellen, those two shows in particular, I was struck by how a subtle actress could take a simple observational moment and make it the biggest laugh at the table or at a run-through, with a tone of voice or a facial expression. When you’re working on a show, it’s worthwhile to remember that sometimes the funniest moments aren’t the hard jokes that shine like diamonds on the page.

But here’s the rub. You, as a young writer just starting out, are not writing a script to be performed. You’re writing a spec. All you have is the page. This is one of the ways in which the spec script system is imperfect. Really subtle emotional writing will be noticed, but really subtle joke writing might very well simply fade into the page. Use those produced scripts you’ve acquired as your guides for how many jokes to have on a page, and for how “jokey” those jokes should be. But if there’s any question in your mind, I would err toward the ha-ha-ha side.

In my opinion, it is probably better to be considered a funny writer who might have to be reined in, than to be considered a writer who will have to be pushed toward the funny.

Note to Nicole in Germany: I lost your address and cannot send you a script. Sorry! Check out scriptcity.net to order a Gilmore Girls in pdf form. You can even get one that I wrote! Thanks for the letter!

Lunch: Spicy noodles with pork from Noodle Planet, a wonderful place near UCLA. Noodle Planet. Even the name is satisfying.

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