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I read a really good produced script the other day. Some of you may have seen the episode of television that resulted from it, in fact. (It’s an Ugly Betty.) In the script, two adult siblings are competing with each other. Early on, we see a flashback to the two of them racing against each other as children. One of them wins and we’re told they always won. Late in the script, in order to accomplish a goal, the two adults end up having to race down a street, just as they did as kids. I thought that was pretty well done, reducing the adult competition to something that could be such a direct reenactment of the childhood flashback. This time, when the childhood loser won, I anticipated that we’d understand that things had changed. I felt that was a pretty competent way to tell the story.

But here’s what was really well done. The one who lost as a child, lost again as an adult. Instead of an easy lesson, competently taught, we got a genuine surprise and a much more complicated lesson about real life — if you let the other person set the rules of the game, they’re gonna pick the game they always win. Gotta say, I was impressed.

This is a good thing to keep in mind when you’re breaking your spec pilots. If an ending seems so neat and tidy and inevitable that you never have to even give it any thought… well, give it some thought. There might be away to twist it, and come up with something more interesting. (And remember, it isn’t enough just to have it differ from expectations, it actually has to have something positive to add.)

Strike: The last two days have seen me on the 6 to 10 a.m. shift. The first two hours are cold. The second two, very hot. The transition is instant. Thanks to Sarah and Ashley and Christina and… oh, was it Wally?… and so many other Gentle Readers who joined me on the line. Thanks especially for the fresh-baked pumpkin bread! Whoo! You guys are the best!

I’m changing locations for one day — Thurs (tomorrow) will find me on the 10 – 2 shift at Fox where I’m reuniting with a few of my old Gilmore Girls colleagues! Come on by, GG fans! We’d be delighted to visit with you!

Then, Friday, it looks like Fan Day, Featuring Battlestar Galactica, will be at the main gate of Universal in the afternoon. That’s all I know now… details to follow.

++++++UPDATE — I’m hearing that Fan Day is now set for 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the main gates of Universal — this is the series of gates into Universal that run along Lankershim Blvd. Food drive! Special guests! I’ll be there. Will you?+++++++

Also, have you heard about this idea to send (mercifully unsharpened) pencils to the moguls? Of all the fan movements, this one seems to be the one that’s catching fire. I like it! If I hear more about it, I’ll let you know.

Lunch: poached eggs, rye toast, grilled tomatoes — a post-picket brunch at Art’s Deli

Gentle Reader Amanda is working her way along the path toward a television writing career. She found an agent, and now she’s written a spec pilot that’s been getting some favorable attention. Here is how she writes about her journey so far:

The last few years I’ve been spending all of my time trying to duplicate the voice of other shows or develop other people’s story ideas on features…you know why? Because deep in my heart I felt like there might not be a place for me as an ORIGINAL writer. [The spec pilot] was just a writing sample. I had NO IDEA anyone would be interested in it. Endeavor just told me “hurry up and write a pilot ’cause that’s what everyone else is doing”.

And then, there’s the writer’s strike. Not my favorite timing, obviously. But I understand it. The bright side is: when else will all of my favorite writers be snuggled up on one city block with nothing better to do than talk to me?! Silver lining! Silver lining!!

Yay, Amanda! Isn’t this inspiring? This is why you strive, Gentle Readers! This is why your pour your little hearts into those specs!

By the way, I read something somewhere about how young writers should be discouraged from using the picket lines as networking opportunities. Oh, I disagree. Don’t force a script into anyone’s hands, but I see nothing wrong with coming out, wielding a picket sign for a few hours, and talking with working (well, you know what I mean) writers about what they do. It’s not just networking, it’s smart career research coupled with support of a kind that actually means something! Follow ordinary rules of courtesy, and you should do fine.

Strike: Today was the big Fox rally. It was crowded and wonderful and possessed by a unity of resolve such as I’ve never felt. I was pleased to meet many of you, Gentle Readers! Thank you for coming out! Stay tuned about more possible special events next week!

Lunch: a veggie burger at Houston’s in the Century City mall. The best part was the side dish of acorn squash, a personal fave of mine.

Well, Gentle Readers, today finds me digging around for my sunscreen and comfy shoes, because apparently I’m going to be walkin’ tomorrow. I haven’t talked about the strike yet here, because I really do want this site to be about the scripts, all the time. But if you’re curious, and want to hear more about the issues from people who are more articulate on the subject than I am, I invite you to check out UnitedHollywood.com. And if any of you are in Los Angeles, and want to show support, or just learn more about the issues, please come out and join us. I personally intend to be at (well, just outside of) Universal Studios tomorrow from nine to one, along with other writers from Battlestar, Eureka, CSI and Desperate Housewives — drop by and say “hi.” Or drive by and honk.

Now, of course, I can’t write during the strike (other than this beloved blog), but you guys can certainly keep working on those spec scripts, so let’s see what I can do to help:

I attended an interesting event this week, in which spec writers got to hear actual actors reading their spec pilots. It was very enlightening to hear the words read out loud, and read well. I’ve mentioned before that I think this is a mistake if you’ve written a spec episode of a show that already exists, because it’s so crucial not to have another voice interfering with your inner echo of the actual actor. But for a spec pilot, there’s no reason not to do this, provided you have access to some readers who can do a credible acting job. In fact, I highly recommend it.

One thing you’ll immediately notice is when a line is too long, which is often. You’ll be crossing words out like crazy. You’ll also notice whole pieces of scenes that can be trimmed away. When you read silently to yourself, your eyes tend to speed up over bits that you know well or that bore you or concern you, but hearing it read aloud forces your attention to those parts and makes you address the problems there — often with a big red X through the whole page.

You’ll also notice awkward bits of phrasing, ambiguous lines and logical jumps that can confuse the audience. If your script is funny, you’ll be able to gauge if the laughs fall where you anticipated them.

Give it a try, and don’t forget to ask your performers what they thought. Actors are often the ones who catch inconsistencies in a script, since they are the ones most invested in following the logical progression of the characters. And, of course, get opinions from other writers. Because writers support each other.

See you on the line.

Lunch: beef shabu shabu with lots of those tiny clear noodles

In a remarkable display of something… Efficiency? Coincidence? Necessity?… two of you have sent in the same question. Adam in West Hollywood says:

… here I am, sketching out ideas for original pilots, and I can’t shake the nagging question of whether or not they’d stand out. […] [S]hould I be writing a pilot that’s more shocking instead of more touching or quirky or filled with those emotional character moments?

While, across town, Megan in Los Angeles chimes in:

… my question is whether a family-friendly emotional pilot with a small hook has any chance of competing against a high-concept pilot. (ie. “30 year old former child star moves back to hometown to live with her sister” vs. “girls’ volleyball team discovers locker room is a time portal!”)

Both gentle readers want to write the less “shocking” spec pilots, but are worried about whether that’s the right choice. Well, I hate to disappoint, but I certainly think a strong, unusual, surprising hook helps. I mean, admit it, Gentle Readers, didn’t you perk up when you thought about that volleyball team and their time portal? If both scripts were in front of you, which one would you be tempted to peek at? They’re a volleyball team! With a time portal!

Remember, just because you pick a more out-there premise, it doesn’t mean you have to lose all the great subtle character stuff that you would do in your more standard story. I certainly would like to think that the team captain, traveling back in time to witness her parents’ first meeting, would have a lovely emotional reaction to it. Adam is, I think, setting up a false choice when he contrasts “shocking” with “touching”. Buffy the Vampire Slayer would’ve made a great spec pilot if it hadn’t already been a movie. The concept – even the title – is manifestly startling, but the writing is subtle and emotional. And touching.

What you don’t need, and this may actually be what Adam is referring to when he says “shocking,” is to load your story with turns that are surprising because they lack motivation or are extra violent or prurient for no other reason than to get a visceral reaction. That’s never a good idea. But coming up with a new and intriguing story hook that makes people curious… that’s never a bad idea.

Lunch: believe it or not, that heirloom tomato salad again. But I think this’ll be the last time for a while.

I’m back in Los Angeles where it’s warm. So let’s get on with the bloggin’, shall we?

I find here a letter from Alexandra in Culver City, who points out that I was very unclear in my entry for Sept. 23rd of this year in which I talked about reconceptualizing one-hour spec pilots as half-hour spec pilots. I didn’t mean to suggest that anyone should actually write half-hour versions of Ugly Betty. I just meant to use Ugly Betty as an example of the kind of comedic-toned show that could’ve had its pilot script whittled down by its original author into a charming half-hour pilot if they’d chosen to do so. I hope that clears things up!

On a different topic, Alexandra also asks, “…does it ever happen that you actually get staffed on a show that you don’t know in its entirety? If so, do you ‘bluff’ your way in the writers’ room on the first few weeks of the job, or are you open about how much you love or don’t love the show, or how much you know about all the characters…?”

Great question, Al! (Can I call you Al?) The answer to the question is “Yes, it happens all the time.” In fact, even a rabid fan comes into the writers’ room of an established show suffering from a distinct information deficit. They might know the characters, but they don’t know about all the story lines that were considered and then dropped, or the foibles of the actors that limit what the characters can do, or the preferences of the network for a certain kind of episode, or the plans that the show runner has for the future arc of the show. Everyone expects the new guy at the very least to be uninformed and curious on these points. And usually, of course, the deficit is even larger. You can be a fan of a show and still forget big chunks of established back-story, or have failed to observe some quirk of one of the characters. No one expects you to know everything. I make mistakes all the time in the Battlestar writers’ room — forgetting some occurrence in a past episode or (repeatedly) mixing up which ships are Raptors and which are Raiders, or suggesting some character act in a way counter-indicated by everything else they’ve ever done. Shrug. I note the error and move on. I’ve done this in every room I’ve ever been in, and, to varying degrees, so does everyone else.

And what if you’re barely aware of anything about the show? It happens. A lot. There’s no need to hide it. You’ll have done as much quick research as you can, of course, starting from when you heard you had an interview, but you might still show up feeling generally unfamiliar with the show. It’s fine. You will be given disks, on your first work day, of all the shows to date. If you aren’t given them, ask for them. Ask questions in the room if you can do so without derailing the process, or corner higher-level producers in the hall or over lunch with your questions. I myself sat down and reread all the Television Without Pity recaps of Battlestar when I got my current job, to make sure I hadn’t just seen the episodes, but had checked my perceptions of what was going on against someone else’s reactions. I remember hearing that a high-level producer at Star Trek: The Next Generation, was hired without having seen any of the show, or even of original Trek, and that they spent their first weeks watching endless tapes to immerse themselves in a culture entirely foreign to them. And that’s certainly not an isolated or unusual case. The other writers will generally be eager to help, to discuss, to bring you up to date.

In other words, Don’t Bluff. Except… well… it’s not bluffing, exactly, but… you asked if you should be honest about how much you “love or don’t love” the show. Don’t love the show? Oh, no, you love the show. Seriously, you LOVE the show. Even if the other writers are downplaying it, find something you love about it. This show is someone’s brainchild, someone loves it very much, and hundreds of people are devoting their time to try to make it the best it can be. If you don’t at least try to wrap your arms around it, you will have a bad time and you won’t do your best work, and you might just get a reputation as a negative presence. It’s far better, I believe, to have a few grumpy-pens question your taste, than it is to have a show-runner question your love of the craft and/or devotion to her project.

Besides, they hired you, right? What’s not to love?

Lunch: the “protein scramble” at Factor’s Deli — egg whites and ground chicken with grilled tomato slices.

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