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Just a reminder — my episode of Andy Barker, PI airs tomorrow night (thurs) on NBC! Check it out. After it airs, I’ll talk with you all a bit about writing action sequences, since I got to write a really fun one for this episode.

But while we wait for the ep to air, I say we go to the mailbag. Robert in Orlando asks about how a novice can get an idea for a show to a network. Sorry, Robert (and everyone else with this very popular question), I’m afraid I don’t know of any such open door. I was working as a writer for more than ten years before I got to pitch pilot ideas to network executives. If there were a quicker route, most TV writers would take it.

Networks like to hear pitches from writers with the experience to write a polished and producible script, and ideally with the experience to run the show themselves. In short, it’s just not a system that’s really set up for input from the outside. But there is a way to the inside of the system, if you want to write a spec script and use it to apply to programs like the ABC Writers’ Fellowship. So pull up a chair and we’ll talk specs!

Finally, to comment quickly on some other notable notes:

In answer to Richard from New York — thank you for your letter — I’m not allowed to use any writing submitted to me, but thanks for lovin’ the blog! In answer to Andrew, also from New York — yes, I think your interpretation of the Balzac joke is exactly right! And a thank you to friend-of-the-blog Leona for the lovely card. And to Scott from Alameda for his Battlestar insights.

Thank you everyone! Soon: action!

Lunch: an ice cream sandwich (I know, I know)

Okay, here is another chapter in the continuing saga of whether or not you’re going to need some other kind of material in addition to your specs of existing shows.

I’ve reported here before that writers are being urged by various agencies around town to have short stories, short plays and scripts for short films available in addition to traditional specs. But this week I heard a new spin on this.

Aspiring comedy writers are now being urged to have short comedy pieces available for busy executives and even show runners to read. And we’re talking really short, like a few pages!

The kinds of things that are being used for this seem to vary. Parody pieces suggest themselves immediately: a spoof of a catalog, or of a children’s book, or of a museum guidebook, or of a MySpace page, or of the “Harper’s Index,” or of the “cuteoverload” website, complete with pictures? … maybe an excerpt from a scholarly analysis of The Pussycat Dolls… maybe a school-lunch menu that devolves into a rant from a clearly deranged lunch lady. A parody of a travel guide or an obituary…? A funny series of newspaper retractions that build off each other…? An amusingly bad translation of The Rosetta Stone…? I assume comedy sketches and funny short stories would be good for this kind of purpose, and I could also see a humorous dialogue written as an exchange of emails, or as a series of text messages. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if soon execs are just given the address to the YouTube clip you’ve written and produced for them. Maybe we’re already there.

Be creative in thinking of your approach to what you pull together for this. If the concept itself is unique, that in itself might just be the thing that opens that door. Take a while to decide what to do, take a few practice passes at it. When a piece is short, it often takes far longer to write than something long, because every word of it has to be precisely right.

Now, recall that this does not replace a script. You will still need a spec script of some kind. Possibly a spec pilot, although I still advocate also having at least one spec of a show currently in production. So write your spec “The Office”. And then keep writing just a little bit more.

The idea, if this isn’t clear, is that reading a script takes time and concentration. Gems can be missed because the reader is rushed and tired. Something short and punchy that shows off your comedy skills in a concentrated fashion is going to have a heck of a lot of appeal.

Lunch: “Eggs Ranchero” at some random restaurant on the 3rd St. Promenade.

Observant readers will note that the “Who is Jane” header on this page has changed to reflect my new position on Battlestar Galactica. Now, I am still involved with Andy Barker P.I., of course, so you need to watch that too, starting on March 15. (You can also check it out here!)

Battlestar is a blast — a great room and a great show runner, making the best show on television. So much fun I cannot express it. Really.

But I can talk more about the importance of theme in a spec script! While we’re on the topic, I just want to warn you about something I used to do, early in my career. I could convince myself, quite skillfully, that any two stories were thematically linked. I’d have an A-story in place, and I’d try to come up with a B-story. As soon as I’d have an idea for one, I’d declare it themic because both stories dealt with, um… “Lies!” or “Secrets!” Well, an awful lot of stories have lies and secrets. They’re perfectly good themes, but they’re better when they’re cut into tailored suits, not thrown over stories as if they were horse blankets.

Also beware of using word play in place of a genuine theme. Check-kiting and kite-flying both have “kite” in ’em. Doesn’t make ’em themically linked. This is an exaggeration, but it’s not far off from what a writer eager to locate a theme will settle for.

So give it some thought. If you really want two stories to resonate with each other, engineer the theme, don’t just mine for it after the fact.

Lunch: bacon cheeseburger. Ate every bite of it, too. Yummy.

There’s a trap that’s very easy to fall into when you’re breaking a story, and that’s when you trick yourself into thinking a story is progressing when instead it’s just alternating.

The very first (never submitted) spec script I ever wrote was an episode of M*A*S*H I attempted when I was 12 or 13 years old. One of the many things wrong with it was that I structured it around a simple choice: would Charles commit to the young woman he had been engaged to back in Boston? At first he didn’t. Then he did. But she didn’t. Then she did and he didn’t. Then they both didn’t. When I finished the script I looked at what I’d written, changed the name of the episode to “The Seesaw,” and added a scene in which they talked about how they kept changing their minds. (Already I was a big believer in “hanging a lantern” on a problem.)

Now, I’m sure you haven’t done things this badly, but it is pretty amazing how this kind of story-telling can still occur even now that we’re all grown-ups. If your spec is about a choice, make sure that the act breaks are about more than just alternating which choice is made. If your plot is about whether or not something will occur, make sure you’re not just alternating a “yes” and “no” answer to whether it will or not.

Look for more than a reversal, look for an escalation. Change the question.

Lunch: a baked potato with broccoli and cheese sauce. Waaay too fatty.

Remember Amanda? She’s the one who sent the great letter I mentioned earlier this week, about landing an agent. Well, I wanted to give you a little bit more of her letter, because it was interesting all the way through. She’s referring to some information I related a while back from my agents about how they’re no longer recommending that writers spec episodes of existing shows.

Amanda: “And you are absolutely right re: original material. The first thing [the new agent] asked me for was anything original: short stories, one acts, pilots, etc. Apparently, the spec scripts are Step 2. After a show runner reads the original stuff THEN they ask for the spec.”

She goes on to mention that this doesn’t seem to be a hard and fast rule, which is certainly the case. And I will mention again that the ABC/Disney fellowship wants traditional specs of shows currently on the air. But it’s very interesting to hear that more than one of the big agencies is pushing hard for original material. At least once you’re repped by the agency. Remember that Amanda got the agent with a spec of The Office. So hmm.

I know it might seem like I’m grinding this topic into the ground, but it’s crucial to your specing careers, so I’m working hard to give you up to the moment info on this one.

Lunch: Koo Koo Roo — chicken with yams and cucumber salad.

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